Jun 23, 2011


is this how we stand right now?

boyfriends, girlfriends, flings, flirts, classes, money, face saving, grudges, inconveniences are more important than spending abit of time with close friends?

i'm tired of being the only one taking the initiative of staying in touch and meeting up. i'm sick of being rejected and being labeled as low priority in your life. Sick of being treated as a third wheel and a nuisance.

when was the last time we had a heart to heart talk? when was the last time we planned and went for a trip together? when was the last time we had a sleepover? when was the last time you asked me out? when was the last time we talked on the phone? you didn't even call on my birthday.

i'm trying really hard not to lose you, but this shit gets old.

in case you haven't realized, we are drifting apart.

Apr 27, 2011

things i wish i could say to you

dear you,

you were someone so different from the people i've met. so indecisive, so unattainable. there was never a right way to get you, never a right move, never a right thing to say because you were always changing your mind, and i hate that about you. i told you that i wanted you so badly at that time was because i couldn't have you, which might be true, but i conveniently left out the part i think i could have really fallen for you if we really got together. And even though our personalities are so not compatible, you never know, maybe you would have been something i'll be good at. somehow i still think that we could be good together. And another thing, i think you kinda stole a piece of my heart unintentionally, and i'm not sure if i got it back because it hurts when i miss you a lot. you're like a scar on my arm, every time i see you, i remember every detail of what happened between us. i don't think i'll ever get over you fully. but you know what, i'm finally content with what we are now, close friends.


Feb 4, 2010


Love is always patient and kind: it is never jealous;
Love is never boastful or conceited;
it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth;
it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.

Love does not come to an end.
First letter of St Paul to the Corinthians [13:4-8]

Jan 26, 2010

Broaden your mind and the world may not seem so cruel

Once upon a time,there was a sales assistant working in a shoe shop.
There was no customers in the shop at that moment,so she just stood there day-dreaming.
When her supervisor came out of the store room and saw that some display shoes were not arranged properly,she scolded the sales assistant for not doing her job.
Although scolding that sales assistant might seem cruel because it was only a small mistake,bt it was fair.
For if the manager saw the display shoes so untidy,the supervisor will get a scolding.But she did nothing wrong.
Because in return the manager will get yelled at by the marketing manager if she came to check on the shop that day. But honestly,did the manager did anything wrong?
But you see,messy display models may affect sales, and when sales drop. who does the board of directer blames?the marketing manager ofcourse. But she did nothing wrong.
All this went through the young sales assistant's mind as she was rearanging the display shoes, and she smiled to herself.
She went home and thank God that this world is nt cruel because her has an open mind.

Jun 26, 2009


18th of june 2009
i arrived at Jengka for the sukan remaja kontigen tournament.
a 6 day event.

20th of june 2009
i received a text message from mother,it read
"Jesus called your small tortoise to heaven today"
tortoise are hardy creatures,they don't just die like that.
maybe it was just sleeping.

21st of june 2009
i received another message concerning my little tortoise,it read
"your tortoise is confirm dead,its shell is broken"
a sudden sense of worry went over me,how could this be?
still i refuse to believe the words written on that message.

22nd of june 2009
yet another message was delivered to me about my poor tortoise,it read
"it's not moving,do you want me to bury it"
anger rose over me.i replied
"don't do anything until i get back"
it can't be dead.
i was still in denial.

23rd of june 2009
the second i reached home,i ran up to my room.
there it laid,it was definitely dead.
i felt scared and devastated.
i wanted to cry,but couldn't.
if i did'nt see it with my own eyes,i would not have believed it.
i confirmed it's death and buried it.

may you rest in peace,my little tortoise.

Jun 11, 2009

stop giving excuses

what exactly is "our fate"?
with love,work and life itself,
most of us believe that our path has been lay out for us from the very beginning.
that our future is written in the stars or something.
it is not wrong to think this way,but i think it has a limit.
because a lot of people use this theory as an excuse to their uselessness.
unsuccessful people,losers and cheaters all together.
these people have this mentality that it is their destiny that they are what they are today.
because it is much easier to just blame it on the gods for our failures,right?

it is much easier to put the fault on lady luck for bumping into your girlfriend's best friend when you were making out with another girl in the hall way of some club.
it is loads easier to blame genetics for failing every subject you took for SPM,because you were just not born smart enough.
it is a hundred times easier to put the blame on the injustice of humans when you lose your final match in a basketball tournament because of the referee.

i say it's all bullshit.
grow up and take responsibility of your failures.
if you don't want to get caught cheating,then don't cheat.because prevention is better than cure.
if you want to pass your tests,just study harder. because you have a brain just like everybody else,so use it.
if you want to win,train more. rise up to the challenge,because if you are a great player even the chairmen of the tournament can't make you lose.