THIS SHIT GETS OLD

is this how we stand right now?

boyfriends, girlfriends, flings, flirts, classes, money, face saving, grudges, inconveniences are more important than spending abit of time with close friends?

i'm tired of being the only one taking the initiative of staying in touch and meeting up. i'm sick of being rejected and being labeled as low priority in your life. Sick of being treated as a third wheel and a nuisance.

when was the last time we had a heart to heart talk? when was the last time we planned and went for a trip together? when was the last time we had a sleepover? when was the last time you asked me out? when was the last time we talked on the phone? you didn't even call on my birthday.

i'm trying really hard not to lose you, but this shit gets old.

in case you haven't realized, we are drifting apart.

it aint me babe.

things i wish i could say to you

dear you,

you were someone so different from the people i've met. so indecisive, so unattainable. there was never a right way to get you, never a right move, never a right thing to say because you were always changing your mind, and i hate that about you. i told you that i wanted you so badly at that time was because i couldn't have you, which might be true, but i conveniently left out the part i think i could have really fallen for you if we really got together. And even though our personalities are so not compatible, you never know, maybe you would have been something i'll be good at. somehow i still think that we could be good together. And another thing, i think you kinda stole a piece of my heart unintentionally, and i'm not sure if i got it back because it hurts when i miss you a lot. you're like a scar on my arm, every time i see you, i remember every detail of what happened between us. i don't think i'll ever get over you fully. but you know what, i'm finally content with what we are now, close friends.

Love,

diane