my poker face

the growling of the bus engine and the soft music eminting from the only one earphone on my right ear grew steadily clearer. my senses started to return to its normal state as i drew out of dreamland. the bus was still dark and quiet,but sunlight was already creeping through the gaps of the curtains. the great ball of fire that brings life to mankind rose slowly from the horizen. as all creation of God reponded to the stimulus of the sunlight and awaken from sweet slumber,my sleepy schoolmates did the same too.

serounded by so many friends,but instead of feeling joyful a sense of lingering sadness was in me throughout the trip. the reason for this i could not find. i tried to rid myself from it,but failure was the end result. i felt i was a burden that my fellow friends had to carry,i put on a fake smile to lighten this burden. did they notice the difference?

i put on my poker face just like the so many people i know. decive others so that my true feelings cant be seen.

我们是傻瓜

其实他/她做的坏事

我们都懂

没有什么不同

眼光闪烁

暧昧流动

闭上眼当作听说

其实别人的招数

我们都懂

没有什么不同

故作软弱

撒娇害羞

只是有一点憋扭

傻瓜也许单纯得多

爱得没那么做作

爱上了

我不保留

傻瓜

我们都一样

被爱情伤了

又伤

相信这个他/她

不一样

却又再一次受伤

傻瓜

我们都一样

受了伤

也不投降

相信付出会

有代价

代价

只是一句

傻瓜

b'day 2009

i turned 17 the second the clock struck 12am on thursday. my handphone starts beeping which wakes me up from sweet slumber. what a wonderful beginning to my b'day with b'day wishes from my friendies.

right before the break of dawn,i awaken again but this time the culprit was my alarm. reluctant to get out of bed,i pressed on the snooze button as usual(about 4 times). finally,after lazing on my bed for 20 minutes,i got up and made my way to the bathroom. the sky was still pitch black and silent like in the dead of night. i did my usual morning routine and went downstairs to have my breakfast before setting off to school. as i passed through the living room,i noticed that my mother was already siting on the sofa with her eyes closed,waiting for me. i entered the kitchen,and there they were,two half boiled eggs ready to be eaten.

the journey to 5C class seemed shortened that morning,maybe it was because i was subconsciously walking faster than usual for my mind was busy imaging what they had planed for my b'day. i told myself that i was not going to get my hopes up this year and expect to much from them. but the thing is they let slip that they already planed something for me,i just don't know what is it yet. all was normal as i reached the classroom,accept for the white umbrella on my desk. i later learned that it was my b'day present.

we had to leave the school early and head to SMKTP to play our last match in the MSSD basketball tournament. on the way there,the van stoped in front of A1 mini market and our captain(bunny jie) got down and bought muffins and a lollipop. she stuck the lollipop on one of the muffins and asked the whole van to sing a birthday song to me(aiyo..made me so pai seh). i was caught off guard and did'nt know how to react,so i just smiled.

we knew that at the end of that match the yellow score sheet would belong to us which means we won't be able to make it to the semifinals,that was why we knew that was dead end for the 2009 SMKTA team.

the blazing sun made sweat steam down our faces as we were waiting for the tug-of-war teams to gather their teamates. i was one of the Dang Anum team members. i was standing around minding my own bussnis when with no sign at all,Pn Yong and a group of my friends(lead by bunny jie) started singing a birthday song to me(aiyo..pai seh second time already). they laughed their heads off at my shocked face.

a little birdy told me that they planed a suprise party for me that night,so that ruined the suprise. but no harm done,it did'nt make it less special for i knew that u all had put alot of effort in it. i arrived home that night with cream all over my face,the smelled like firecrackers and a stomach full of barbequed chicken wings. i was exhausted,but happier than ever.

i doudted

"Our doubts are traitors

And makes us lose the good we oft might win

By fearing to attempt."

by william shakespeare

i made a stupid mistake yesterday when i decided not to go for the 400m finals.

i tought to myself "i only got sencond in the qualifying round,means there's no way i'll get the gold medal. plus,the girls wearing state jerseys looks very intimidating." i doubted that i could even get third place,so i did'nt even show up for the finals.

in the afternoon,i got a message from cheryl saying that my timing for the qualifying round was faster than the girl that got third place. so if i had gone for the finals and put more efford,maybe i could have even got sencond place. what a shame right?

well what's done is done,so no point regreting over it now. i'll try my best in the 4x400m,hopefully i'll get a chance to redeem myself.

V'day 2009

no flowers,no gifts,no valentine but no disapointment either.
when you don't treat something special it does not seem special.

in order for something to be special,you have to think that it is special.

i treated v'day like any other day.

perhaps this was why i did'nt feel unhappy at the absence of romance.

on the contrary,it was a special day for me,but for a different reason.

sometimes something may only seem special to one person.

and the presence of this special thing can enlighten that one person.

i spent the whole day with you.

perhaps this was why that day felt special to me.

轨迹 - 周杰伦

怎么隐藏 我的悲伤
失去妳的地方
妳的发香 散的匆忙
我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛 还能看见
你离去的痕迹
在月光下 一直找寻
那想念的身影
如果说分手 是苦痛的起点
那在终点之前
我愿意再爱一遍
想要对妳说的 不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白
我会发着呆 然后忘记你
接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天 会有人代替
让我不再想念你
我会发着呆 然后微微笑
接着紧紧闭上眼
又想那一年 妳温柔的脸
在我忘记之前
心里那眼泪 模糊了视线
你已经看不见

每次听这首歌 都会想起你

holiday job

i manage to get a job as a u-mobile promoter. hu-ray for me!!

27th - 30th nov 2008
the first road show was at giant. at the same time celcom,maxis and digi were also doing road shows. it was tough competition. my friends and i were under the company "uniqphone".
first day,i only sold 2 simpacks. that was when i realized i really suck at selling stuff. but i still had some fighting spirit in me,so i did not give up.
second day,although still dreadful,but i did slightly better with 5 simpacks sold. after work that day,our boss(the boss of uniqphone) treated us supper at a restorent at taman tas. our boss gave us a kind of pep-talk and promised us he will double our pay if we reach our target the next day,which is 100 simpacks. yes,we were under quite a lot of pressure considering we only sold 33 simpacks that day and we were only a team of 3,but we were still very determined to meet that target.
third day,with the help of our boss' personal salesman(he was like a super simpack selling machine),we almost met our target. we sold a total of 91 simpacks. although we did not really meet the target,our boss still gave us each rm100 pay for the day. we,in our happy mood which results in good appetite walloped down our supper at high speed at 'duku langsat' courtesy of our boss again. another pep-talk was given by our boss and our new target also. not suprised,he wanted us to sell off all the remainder simpacks,which was about 180 of them. although i was already prepared for it,but somehow it was still a bit hard to believe that he would really give us such a high target.
forth day,the last of the road show there. it was like a mad house that day,with simpacks and registration forms flying all around the place. but believe or not,we managed to sell off all 180 simpacks. we were treated to western food that night and got our rm100 pay for the day again. well fed plus a bit richer, i went home i happy soul that night

. uniqphones promoters
diane baobei

4th - 8th dec 2008
second road show was at kuantan parade and pikom pc fair at berjaya megamall. this time we were under another company "LB mobile".
first and second day,i was stationed at kuantan parade while all the top salesman were sent to megamall. honestly,those two days were a real dull affair. very few people go to kuantan parade means very few customers. luckily we got to go to bintang walk on the night of the second day,if not i would not have sold a single simpack that day.
third day,i was stationed at megamall. because some of the top salesman were not doing that good over there,our boss decided to put us there instead. the place was hustling and bustling unlike our previous venue. so we managed to produce quite a decent sales report that day. funny,for some reason our boss was very pleased with me,poo yien and ya lun. maybe it was because we sold almost 50 simpacks that day. but honestly,i did'nt do much,mostly i just stood around. wondered why our boss gave me a bonus too,which was rm20(wakakaka). i guess it literally pays to have great salesmans as friends.
forth day,megamall was in its usual packed state. it was the last day of the pc fair,so everybody was doing their last minute pc stuff shopping while we continue to sell our simpacks,everybody went on with their merry lives.at the end of the day,we passed up yet another satisfying sales report,150 simpacks sold. after packing up everything,we went up to "aluha" for karaoke,courtesy of our big big boss. although our eardrums were severely damaged,but we had a great time there.

group picture!! group picture at aluha!! yien diane baobei

fifth day,we were stationed back at kuantan parade again. everybody was practically bored to death. luckily we finished work early that day and went to "sushi king" for dinner,courtesy of our boss. have you ever been to sushi king and you could order what ever you liked and did'nt have to care if the bill sky rockets? that day was a HAPPY day.

the picture of happiness


22nd dec 2008
the u-mobile teh tarik crew visited teluk chempedak and kemaman kopitiam(the 1 oposite of megamall)
we started work in the evening. if you ask me,both venue were crappy places to have a road show. at tc the wind was so strong that it was practically blowing us off course when approaching customers. but it did'nt make much difference since there were'nt many people there to sell to anyway.
at TC ,our hair are all messed up because of the wind

then after 10pm,we set off to kemaman kopitiam,another idiotic place. when we arrive there(around 15 promoters),it took us i think about 5 minutes to finished selling to everybody there(including the workers). as the dj continued to rock the place,we went on foot to pursuit the next potential location for selling our simpacks. we went as far as our feet could go,we managed to sell a few more before heading back home.

group picture!!
DJ,only 20 years old leh...

well besides,
rejected by customers,getting scolded by customers,embarrassed by customers,arguing with customers,being shooed by customers,pressured by our bosses,working long hours,leg pains and headaches it was a great holiday job. love my bosses and vicky jie(our nai ma). all in all,i had a lot of fun working with everybody.