i doudted

"Our doubts are traitors

And makes us lose the good we oft might win

By fearing to attempt."

by william shakespeare

i made a stupid mistake yesterday when i decided not to go for the 400m finals.

i tought to myself "i only got sencond in the qualifying round,means there's no way i'll get the gold medal. plus,the girls wearing state jerseys looks very intimidating." i doubted that i could even get third place,so i did'nt even show up for the finals.

in the afternoon,i got a message from cheryl saying that my timing for the qualifying round was faster than the girl that got third place. so if i had gone for the finals and put more efford,maybe i could have even got sencond place. what a shame right?

well what's done is done,so no point regreting over it now. i'll try my best in the 4x400m,hopefully i'll get a chance to redeem myself.

V'day 2009

no flowers,no gifts,no valentine but no disapointment either.
when you don't treat something special it does not seem special.

in order for something to be special,you have to think that it is special.

i treated v'day like any other day.

perhaps this was why i did'nt feel unhappy at the absence of romance.

on the contrary,it was a special day for me,but for a different reason.

sometimes something may only seem special to one person.

and the presence of this special thing can enlighten that one person.

i spent the whole day with you.

perhaps this was why that day felt special to me.

轨迹 - 周杰伦

怎么隐藏 我的悲伤
失去妳的地方
妳的发香 散的匆忙
我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛 还能看见
你离去的痕迹
在月光下 一直找寻
那想念的身影
如果说分手 是苦痛的起点
那在终点之前
我愿意再爱一遍
想要对妳说的 不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白
我会发着呆 然后忘记你
接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天 会有人代替
让我不再想念你
我会发着呆 然后微微笑
接着紧紧闭上眼
又想那一年 妳温柔的脸
在我忘记之前
心里那眼泪 模糊了视线
你已经看不见

每次听这首歌 都会想起你

holiday job

i manage to get a job as a u-mobile promoter. hu-ray for me!!

27th - 30th nov 2008
the first road show was at giant. at the same time celcom,maxis and digi were also doing road shows. it was tough competition. my friends and i were under the company "uniqphone".
first day,i only sold 2 simpacks. that was when i realized i really suck at selling stuff. but i still had some fighting spirit in me,so i did not give up.
second day,although still dreadful,but i did slightly better with 5 simpacks sold. after work that day,our boss(the boss of uniqphone) treated us supper at a restorent at taman tas. our boss gave us a kind of pep-talk and promised us he will double our pay if we reach our target the next day,which is 100 simpacks. yes,we were under quite a lot of pressure considering we only sold 33 simpacks that day and we were only a team of 3,but we were still very determined to meet that target.
third day,with the help of our boss' personal salesman(he was like a super simpack selling machine),we almost met our target. we sold a total of 91 simpacks. although we did not really meet the target,our boss still gave us each rm100 pay for the day. we,in our happy mood which results in good appetite walloped down our supper at high speed at 'duku langsat' courtesy of our boss again. another pep-talk was given by our boss and our new target also. not suprised,he wanted us to sell off all the remainder simpacks,which was about 180 of them. although i was already prepared for it,but somehow it was still a bit hard to believe that he would really give us such a high target.
forth day,the last of the road show there. it was like a mad house that day,with simpacks and registration forms flying all around the place. but believe or not,we managed to sell off all 180 simpacks. we were treated to western food that night and got our rm100 pay for the day again. well fed plus a bit richer, i went home i happy soul that night

. uniqphones promoters
diane baobei

4th - 8th dec 2008
second road show was at kuantan parade and pikom pc fair at berjaya megamall. this time we were under another company "LB mobile".
first and second day,i was stationed at kuantan parade while all the top salesman were sent to megamall. honestly,those two days were a real dull affair. very few people go to kuantan parade means very few customers. luckily we got to go to bintang walk on the night of the second day,if not i would not have sold a single simpack that day.
third day,i was stationed at megamall. because some of the top salesman were not doing that good over there,our boss decided to put us there instead. the place was hustling and bustling unlike our previous venue. so we managed to produce quite a decent sales report that day. funny,for some reason our boss was very pleased with me,poo yien and ya lun. maybe it was because we sold almost 50 simpacks that day. but honestly,i did'nt do much,mostly i just stood around. wondered why our boss gave me a bonus too,which was rm20(wakakaka). i guess it literally pays to have great salesmans as friends.
forth day,megamall was in its usual packed state. it was the last day of the pc fair,so everybody was doing their last minute pc stuff shopping while we continue to sell our simpacks,everybody went on with their merry lives.at the end of the day,we passed up yet another satisfying sales report,150 simpacks sold. after packing up everything,we went up to "aluha" for karaoke,courtesy of our big big boss. although our eardrums were severely damaged,but we had a great time there.

group picture!! group picture at aluha!! yien diane baobei

fifth day,we were stationed back at kuantan parade again. everybody was practically bored to death. luckily we finished work early that day and went to "sushi king" for dinner,courtesy of our boss. have you ever been to sushi king and you could order what ever you liked and did'nt have to care if the bill sky rockets? that day was a HAPPY day.

the picture of happiness


22nd dec 2008
the u-mobile teh tarik crew visited teluk chempedak and kemaman kopitiam(the 1 oposite of megamall)
we started work in the evening. if you ask me,both venue were crappy places to have a road show. at tc the wind was so strong that it was practically blowing us off course when approaching customers. but it did'nt make much difference since there were'nt many people there to sell to anyway.
at TC ,our hair are all messed up because of the wind

then after 10pm,we set off to kemaman kopitiam,another idiotic place. when we arrive there(around 15 promoters),it took us i think about 5 minutes to finished selling to everybody there(including the workers). as the dj continued to rock the place,we went on foot to pursuit the next potential location for selling our simpacks. we went as far as our feet could go,we managed to sell a few more before heading back home.

group picture!!
DJ,only 20 years old leh...

well besides,
rejected by customers,getting scolded by customers,embarrassed by customers,arguing with customers,being shooed by customers,pressured by our bosses,working long hours,leg pains and headaches it was a great holiday job. love my bosses and vicky jie(our nai ma). all in all,i had a lot of fun working with everybody.

under 16 - 2008

the Ti Lian Ker cup (under 16 tournament) ended on the 16th of November.
after a week and a half of matches,the He Fa Wu Jing team rose as champions of the girls category and the Sukan Makmur team rose as champions of the boys category.

our 1st day of training was tiring because we had to run 2.4km,but besides that it was pretty lame training. the coach mostly concentrated on the boys only. our 2nd day of training was also quite boring,but at the end of the training we played a game with the boys. it was kind of like a free throw shoot out,and we won hands down. we only had 2 days of training because tournament was on the 19th,so that sums up the training.

after our last day of training. yoo....kunatan girl team like that de.

the night before setting off for Benta in Kuala Lipis,we had a sending off ceremony at Hoi Tin Lau. its just a normal dinner only,nothing special. we set off on wednesday morning to benta. the bus took detours to pick up and drop off passengers so it took us about 5 hours to get there.

the first thing we did when we got there was check in to the 'benta river view hotel'. then we went for lunch and took a nap. our first match was against bentong at 5pm. we lost. only sounds of soft breathing and the rumbling of cars that passed us by could be heard during our walk back to the hotel. losing our first match,can anything be more discouraging?

after opening ceremony.

our 2nd match was against lipis. we won hands down. with our spirits high we gambled,gang semi-rape all our teammates,had a pillow fight and played truth or dare. in the middle of our game of truth or dare,the electricity went out. so instead of staying in the dark and humid room,we went outside. we talked for a couple of hours before returning back to the darkness of the hotel. by that time it was already the wee hours of the morning,so everybody drifted into sound sleep in the matter of minutes.

the electricity was still out when we woke up at noon. the weather was getting hotter. after going for lunch our coach forbid us from going anywhere. we had to stay in the hotel and rest. but it was like being in an oven in our hotel room,so some of us had to result to taking off our shirts just to prevent ourselves from fainting. our 3rd match was against raub. we won again. after the boy's match,our sponsor brought us to dinner. well fed we went back to the hotel with smiling faces. we decided to have an organized pillow fight complete with fouls and penalties. we recorded it down(only available on a few handphones). at 11am our coach confiscated all our handphones,because our match was scheduled at 9am the next morning.

our final and most important match was against cameron highlands. sadly,we lost. as we sat beside the court with our heads down,our coach lectured us. totally aware that we are in the wrong,nobody spoke back to him. our eyes just remained fixed to the ground,unable to find the courage to face him. after discussing a time for future training,we were dismissed. we packed our things and left the hotel for the bus stop at 3pm. our early departure resulted in our absence during the boy's finals and the closing ceremony. we waited...waited...and waited. it was 4.35pm already and still no sign of any bus approaching. we have waited for one and a half hours,and waiting at that bus stop was no joy. the heat was practically cooking us alive. everybody started getting frustrated,so our p sao had no choice but to call up the bus company. it turns out the bus was only going to leave lipis at 4.45pm and it take half an hour for the bus to get to benta. we still had about half an hour to kill,so we went to the court to catch a glimpse of the final match. disappointed,kunatan boys lost. the bus finally arrived at 5.20pm. in the bus,as most of us were in sweet slumber,some of them were gambling away. we reached kuantan at about 9.30pm. we said our goodbyes and parted with heavy hearts.

the beating of my broken heart

i don't care what they say,i am in love with you.
this was what i told myself over and over again.
ignore the advices of fellow friends.
i believed that your heart was still mine.
i became vulnerable to you,
my heart was your's for the taking.
your flaws were invincible to me,
only your goodness shone in my heart.
it was obvious that the cons won over pros if i were to be with you,
but still it did not stop me from falling for you.
love is blind,
i believe in that saying now.

i can find a million reasons not to trust you,
but it only takes one to make me trust you.
all i wanted was your heart to be mine again.
"i do love you"
this was what you said to me.
was it sincere and true?
i doubt every word of it.

i knew i should not have gave you my heart,
leave my heart unprotected to a predator like you.
when i found out the truth,
can you hear the beating of my broken heart?
it has become weak and impaired,
in its dreaded state,
its beats has lost its rhythm.
i wonder how long would i still survive if my heart continues to get damaged.
teach me a way to close up from love,
and shelter my heart from further harm.

what am i to you

i hate the way you say my name like it's something secret.
i am at the bottom of your lists,your lowest priority.
just like your back up call,i wait for your number to show up on my phone.
you managed to lure me into your trap with your sweet talk.
and i was stupid enough to fall for it.
this should be a table for two,but i have a feeling that we are not a couple.
meeting you may be the worst thing that has happened to me,
but i do not have the power to undo what is done.
so i pray to god to make you just a memory,
for i want my heart to be in one piece when i find out the truth.
to leave you in the past,i have tried.
but as i stepped out of this horrid drama,
you drag me back in to your arms and convinced me to stay.
in the comfort of your arms and a gentle kiss from your lips,
how could i resist.
hundreds of promises you have made,but none fulfilled .
and still i believe in the words you whispered in my ear.
have you ever loved me?
i know the answer.
but do you love me now?
is still a mystery yet to be solve.
only an idiot would give you a second chance,trust in you for the second time.
so call me an idiot,i know i deserve it.

here i am..
waiting for your call..
waiting for you..
waiting again...